it starts again. im gonna start my useless rantings again. shit shit shit.

what seemed like an hour and a half show to everyone on the thursday night...seemed like less then a 5 min show to me. prince's appearance wasn't even a 5 min long one it was onnly like 60secs. U_U depressed i should say? or should i just say that...i feel so empty now. no more frequent after school trips to mdc no more worm no more stars no more sebas no more leon. it's all begining to fall apart. my mind is in a whirl. i dont know what to do. i seem to see him on my file every other day...but the feeling is just not there. the feeling seem to fade away slowly. each day my longing to see him gets worst and whenever i think of the times that i get to see him....it's the most minimal one that i could ever imagine. i miss time times when my friends will call me and start going...choong choong choong choong choong then i'll run all the way just to get a glimpse of him. heehee looking back it all seem so long ago...but this is what's been going on within the past 2 months.

gathering? shattering.....i bought the i weekly special today on superstar. thanks wilson for telling me. U_U i'm saddened by the fact that he isn't even gonna have a last gathering. my wishes and hopes of seeing him are dashed for the last time. im not gonna say anything further.

at the indoor...majority of his boards were signed by him b4...but mine? it's empty on both sides. just liike me whenever i see her in the crowds...im empty. it was my first time seeing her that day. i dunno why but i just feel this green monster possesing my body...by the time i realised,it was too late....i was getting jealous... too jealous in a state where i could just kill her in front of everyone. but now i realise...i cant blame her. why? coz it was my fault for starting late. i missed the perfect chance when i had it. i'm to blame.

those who are reading my entry...sorry. i really had to say that bunch of crap. coz i really dont know how can i express myself already. im running out of ways to do it.

i almost screwed my listening today. i slept for the last 5 mins at least. i missed one entire extract.i was just lucky that i managed to catch it on the second play. if not i can be prepared to be a gonner.

im not myself lately. i think i shall just stop typing...if not i would probably breakdown in tears again perhaps...coz i feel so empty now. kong kong de gan jue...zhen de hen tong ku.

my star remember this...as long as you are willing to work hard and reach, the top is always vacant. jiayou bah...you yuan zai jian.



joycemissesyou...`-